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☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
27 February 2014 @ 03:41 pm

Trying to lose weight! Woo. Not necessarily a diet. But I'm trying to replace the crap I eat at work with healthier things... And replace one meal a day with a yogurt or something.

Today I had one of those little cottage cheese things with the fruit on the side, with a banana. It was maybe a little more than 100 calories. For what I guess you could say was breakfast. Then for lunch I had a Greek yogurt with dove dark chocolate sprinkles (hoping this'll keep me from scarfing down a bunch of chocolate) . That's 120 calories. Then I ate a bag of vegetable chips for a snack. 130 calories. In trying to find something to fit some grains in there through out the day but just nothing appealing. I thought maybe whole grain crackers?

I'm gonna keep my dinners essentially the same though, just gonna try not to eat a whole families worth of food. Oh! And soda! Trying to cut soda out and drink water. I'm craving something with flavor though. XD I might try some diet snapple or something. Otherwise I'll fall off my anti soda wagon in a big way (I'm talking those 1.5 liter bottles gone in maybe an hour?)

I don't wanna deprive myself of things I like... Cause that's when I snap one day and eat like entire cakes on my own. XD I'm just trying to cut back on the junk I eat. And I eat at work cause I get bored. Idk. Random diet journal. XDDD I started that this Monday. So I'm in day 4. Hopefully I can keep this up xP.

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☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
30 October 2013 @ 08:45 am

I love that my mom wakes me up screaming at me at 8 in the morning. Can I have one fucking day to not feel like shit? Please?

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☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
30 September 2013 @ 12:26 pm
"i struggle to believe that people love me and that i am loveable

i could say i have cognitive dissonance, that lots of people show me love and it’s just not getting through to me

or maybe it’s that what i see as love is completely different from what people say it is

i think i would feel more loved if someone were hurting me"

a person I follow on tumblr wrote this, and I wanted to share it here because I think at one point I talked about this, but I don't think I could put it in the right words

 
 
☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
13 August 2013 @ 09:11 pm

Waaaaah. It's back to school in a week... Less than! I don't know I'm just not feeling it. I'm feeling pretty discouraged about school lately... I feel like this past semester was a complete waste and I'm not a step closer to being where I want to be. =/ I'm feeling like I'll never get to where I want to be.

I know it's probably all in my head... I just need to get focused again. But what if this really all was for nothing and I don't even get accepted next fall.... Or what if I get accepted and can't handle it... ~_~

 
 
☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
25 June 2013 @ 03:31 am

So I've been pretty stressed out about the thought of living alone. =/ I'm excited and yet nervous. One because ill barely be affording it. Plus there's gonna be some changes happening at work and I'm thinking 'what if I don't make the cut,' an lose my job or something. I'd have to work a lot more hours to make close to what I make at the flea market and my school schedule always ends up being a total clusterfuck with little time in between classes to do much of anything, let alone work. If nothing else I know my manager and his wife love me and would probably fight tooth and nail to keep me. Also I'm pretty sure about half of the people who actually DO still come into our store would probably quit if he fired me or something. A lot of them tell me I'm the only reason they still stop by. Ack. I don't know. My mom is pretty much just like 'you'll get a roommate and won't have to worry about it' and my dads view is 'everything will work out' but me? I'm trying to think about every single possibility , good and bad, so that I can be covered. I don't know... I'm just worried. =/ however, if I don't end up unemployed within a few weeks there's a good chance I may end up working more hours which is good. But the fact that it could go either way stresses me out. ~_~

And the second reason I'm stressed at the thought is that I haven't been in the best spirits lately. At all. Living alone could either be a really good thing or bad. @_@

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☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
30 May 2013 @ 11:52 am


Omg she was gorgeous and flawless and her concert was amazing. She sounded perfect live and she performed a lot of songs from both albums. I was so freaking excited the first note of Mowgli's Road I heard. I never in a million years actually expected to hear that song. It always seemed like that one really awesome and amazing song that never got performed live because there wasn't a place for it cause it was so weird. XDDDD I cried hysterically during Numb, And State of Dreaming. <3 she said after her first song that we were making it hard for her to sing because we were making her really emotional. <3

I almost got to touch her since I got pushed past the barricade and pretty much hung out there the entire time.

She also apparently came outside about ten minutes after the show and talked to everyone and signed there stuff an everything and was just really sweet and perfect and friendly, but I wasn't there cause I nearly passed out during her last song (legit couldn't breath and couldn't see straight). I can't wait for her to come back. <33333

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☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
18 April 2013 @ 09:06 pm

In a few weeks I'm going to be seeing Marina and the Diamonds in concert! And then ZZ Ward! Then Metric! And lastly hopefully Ellie Goulding (w/ Bruno Mars) and if I can afford it, Half Moon Run (w/ Of Monsters and Men, though I'd really be going for HMR). I wish Florence was performing this summer because that would make this the best. summer. ever. ;_; But as far as I know she's not (she's supposedly taking a year long hiatus?) That will be next summer! I just can't believe that I'm going to be getting to see so many of my idols in only a matter of months! Now I just need all of my favorite jrock and kpop artists to tour the US and everything will be great. xD

I also finished Bioshock Infinite and let me just say... Everyone should play it. It's such an intelligent game, with an amazing theme and story line, memorable characters that are filled with so much personality and just... LKAsldkma; It's flawless. Anything you ever heard about the Bioshock series is true. I can't wait for the next game from this company.

Well. I've talked enough. xDDD Here's a Marina song I've come to really love lately. It's not what you'd think by the title so just give it a listen! It's brilliant.

 
 
☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
16 April 2013 @ 08:57 pm

I'm sure a lot of people think it's an exaggeration when I say I feel like no one loves me, but it's an honest, lonely and disgusting feeling I deal with pretty much every waking moment. And in those really rare moments where I feel like someone maybe does... It's always so quick and fleeting before whatever this darkness is inside me that is intent on making me feel like the most pathetic, worthless person in existence. Like i see how much most people love and care for each other and I'm angry at myself for being something and someone that isn't worth that love. But sometimes... Sometimes I know better. Someone loves me and its like... My mind just won't let me think that way.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
02 February 2013 @ 01:54 am

Hiiiiiii!! I know everyone has been busy lately with school and what not, but I just wanted to say hi! Hopefully ill have time tomorrow to talk about what's been going on with me lately but right now I'm too tired. XD so... Good night! ^^

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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☆ ちひろ o(≧∀≦)o ☆
21 January 2013 @ 01:38 am
I can't win when it comes to putting my schedule together for school! Either I wake up really early and end up exhausted for the rest of the day, or I go to class in the evenings and feel like I spend my entire day getting ready for class. xDDD And I can't go to class early and then come back and take a nap because I can't take naps. I either sleep for a full 8 or more hours, or I wake up with a really terrible headache. xD I'm so terrible. I don't know why I'm always so tired.

Anyyyyyyyyyyways~ I started two of my classes so far: History of Western Civilization and Pre-Calc.

My Pre-calc. is going to be tough. =_= I hate math. We're doing like... Reviews of fractions and radicals and I'm like "WTF is this shit?" Yet every semester my grades in math are pretty much flawless. xDDDD I don't know how I manage it. It's like the minute I take a test on it it's gone. Which is a shame, considering math tutors at CCAC make $10 an hour. @_@

But the Calc. book we're using is freaking terrible. It doesn't explain anything. And my teacher is cool, but she has a completely different teaching style than my last three teachers. I was lucky and all of my math teachers since like... 10th grade have taught the same way.

My History teacher is pretty cool though. She's goofy and cracks lame jokes (Like saying "That's just the tip of the iceberg" while referring to events of the ice age. xDDD). I've still got two classes to go; U.S History and Art History. Freaking yaaaaaaaaaaaay.